Chelsea Tactics and Transfers: Bring in Zlatan on loan, sell David Luiz

Chelsea could use a temporary solution to address their issues at striker. A loan for Zlatan Ibrahimovic may be the wildest idea you’ll hear, but it is far from the worst.

Now, first things first, dearest loyal T&T readers. I owe you an apology for the terrible dribble that has been this column for the past several weeks.You’re a much more refined and lion-hearted group than the average parishioner and so, for my poor performance in recent weeks, I’m sorry.

So let’s begin. As I said facetiously on Twitter this week, a solution to Chelsea’s striking problems could be signing Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I’ll wait a moment to let you get that out of your system. Just remember, on issues concerning this mighty football club, I am almost always proven correct. Thibaut Courtois, for instance? Cesar Azpilicueta? Good.

No, Chelsea shouldn’t sign Ibrahimovic on a permanent transfer. That would be obtuse.  But a Beckham-style loan? That would work perfectly for an 18-month deal.

Ibrahimovic still has too much in the tank to be wasting away in Los Angeles. Sure, the beaches are beautiful and the weather is perfect.  But he’s a warrior and there’s still a fight to be had. I reckon with every wonder goal he scores against inferior opposition that he’s chomping at the bit to get back in the scrap in Europe.

The things that count against him are simple. His age. His speed. His attitude (we’ll get to that) and, of course, Mino Raiola. So yes, while we acknowledge Zlatan is 37 and it appears to be beyond him, he is still playing well and Chelsea would require less from him than another club would. And Raiola can’t interfere much in a loan.

Ibrahimovic is not quick, but he’s faster than Olivier Giroud. Giroud hasn’t slowed down the attack at all has he? In fact, Zlatan’s far superior technical ability could allow him to perfect the role Giroud has invented as a passing reference point for the team to build around.

Chelsea often find themselves confined to rather small areas of space around the opponent’s penalty area. They don’t need fast players so much as technical ones, those who can make the most of the space they’re given. Ibrahimovic could do that perfectly, and he’s remarkable at one thing Chelsea strikers seem to be allergic to: He. Scores. Goals. With his head, with his feet, with his knees. He scores when the ball is in the air or on the ground. He scores from range and he scores from near.

Sarrismo is simply total football. It’s a school of football I believe in, but it’s not exactly new. Invented by Ajax and then studied profusely by Arrigo Sacchi’s AC Milan in the 80’s and 90’s, it was powerful enough to define the style of football at Barcelona. It is a wonderful thing. Ibrahimovic is a player for whom the style makes sense. It’s in his blood and Maurizio Sarri is the Arrigo Sacchi of this era. It makes too much sense.

You’re going to bring up his injury. Of course, you are, you’re not stupid. It’s why I enjoy our weekly chats. But here’s the truth. His time rehabbing was poor and handled even worse. Manchester United were in too bad shape for him to rehab in the proper conditions. He was rushed back and too much was expected of him.

For an injury like that, the medical rehab is 9-12 months and then the mental rehab another year or so. Not to be That Guy, but having ended my career from a perhaps too soft mental approach to knee injuries and lived with the regret of it, I am sympathetic to players with this case. So before casting him off I’d say look at Radamel Falcao. It took him almost 2-3 years, but he is back and excellent. If you need a closer example look at Antonio Rudiger between last year and now.

In his uninjured year Ibrahimovic scored 28 goals for a team entirely bereft of fluidity or attacking flair. He invented and conjured those goals out of thin air. That year proved what an ethereal talent he is. If he lost four goals a year for each year since then he’d still score 16 goals. That’s more than Morata and Giroud could dream of, let alone score. Sixteen goals from a loan striker isn’t a poor spot of business at all.

Which brings us to the next point: this is simply a more reasonable thing to do than any of the other options. Who are the other out-and-out strikers who are perfect in age, build and record in Europe and available at a good cost now? Any? Maybe Icardi? But at £100 million while having another £70 million striker on the bench? Surely not. Chelsea aren’t Real Madrid. They can’t afford that lifestyle. Those of you who joined with Roman Abramovich: that time is over, I’m afraid.

This brings us full circle to what Chelsea have now. Alvaro Morata will come good. He will, and I’m perhaps the hardest person on him because of what I see and believe in him. He has the ability and he shows it in flashes, but only if he gains the mentality to do it. He has the right height, body-type and level of intelligence to be a top-level striker. But Zlatan has the Diego Costa attitude that Morata simply lacks.

Zlatan is the sort of mentor Morata needs. Chelsea should provide him rather than spending £100 million to handicap a £70 million investment who they have mismanaged so far.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic cannot play every match anymore. But he can train and mentor players. Like Ronaldo he understands the importance of preparation. Morata would not be displaced by Zlatan so much as propped up by him. Morata would still play 25-30 matches a year, and would not be threatened because Ibrahimovic is on loan and would move back to LA for his duties there.

Now, onto the next thing. I commented recently on how many of Chelsea’s players have spoken up about their lack of game time during a most unlikely title-challenging and unbeaten season. Years ago such a thing would never have happened. Today’s not the day to bang that drum, as shameful as it is.

It’s time for Chelsea to let some people go. It’s a new age and new blood is needed. Gary Cahill, a true steward of the club in every manner, should be allowed to leave in January if he’d like. If he’d like to stay, of course, and he can have as many extensions as necessary. But the club comes first. If he wants to leave, West Ham are interested.

With two central defenders at the back Chelsea simply have too many. Andreas Christensen must get a shot. He has been unconvincing and, despite being 22 years old, resembles a teenager. But he has all the technical ability in the world. A partnership with Antonio Rudiger could be the stuff of dreams.

That is why this news about a David Luiz extension is so remarkably stupid.

It is wonderful he is playing so well at the moment, but he should be thanked for his time and shown out. We can share in his good mood and enjoyment of his football this season, but how do Chelsea have such frightfully poor memory? If Luiz isn’t happy he’s not above selfishly destroying the locker room to suit his needs. Chelsea are building a culture now, and characters like that cannot be allowed to shape it. Politely let him pursue his antics someplace else when the season ends and slide Christensen into that role. He’s always said he wants to move back to Benfica. This is the time.

At some point, Chelsea need to let the Christensen-Rudiger-Arrizabalaga relationship begin. More matches together now will make them as good as they should be in three years. They will grow into perhaps the best partnership in the world, but only if Chelsea stop cutting off their nose to spite their face. The relationship, mental understanding and unspoken communication that makes the best defensive partnerships work takes time to grow. Chelsea must plant the seeds now.

Ethan Ampadu is perfectly poised to be the youth back up to the role next year (and I shelter an opinion he’s actually better than Christensen already, but that’s for another day). Should Ampadu leave on loan then it would be Kurt Zouma returning from Everton who fills the backup role.

This is all so smooth and simple and sensible, yet Chelsea appear to be on the verge of destroying that. Why? What inane, ridiculous thing makes them do this? What in the name of David Luiz are they thinking?

Chelsea have no business being as good as they are at the moment. They’ve got a new coach, a mediocre squad without strikers and play in the most difficult league in the world. But they’re doing it. Please, Chelsea, don’t be stupid here. They’ve stumbled into a wonderful thing. Manchester City are competing on multiple fronts and Pep Guardiola’s obsession with the Champions League is growing. Manchester United are a circus and Liverpool simply aren’t better than the Blues.

They have a proper chance at truly making something wonderful and heroic happen. Try not to deface it with some daft behavior now.