Premier League Picks – Matchday 36: The Mourinho Chronicles
By Zahir Gilani
BREAKING NEWS: Chelsea FC have won the Barclay’s Premier League!
And Mourinho has not only reclaimed what was once his, but more. With his squad needing no significant additions to maintain their position and the rest of their competitors all playing catch up, make no mistake about it – In England, Chelsea are the alpha dogs.
And while the play on the field can be labelled boring at times, what has happened since the Special one returned has been anything but. Off the top of my head, here’s my recap since Jose came back in the summer of 2013:
-Mourinho freezes Chelsea’s 2 time reigning player of the year Juan Mata out of the first team.
-Jose then wrote love letters to Wayne Rooney and I believe bid £40m for him, prompting Man United to sign him to a £300k/ week deal
Between February 2002 and April 2011, Jose Mourinho went undefeated in 150 League home matches with 4 different teams in 4 different leagues
-Jose benches £50m Fernando Torres, then plays him, then signs Samuel Eto’o and benches him again all the while complaining he has no strikers.
-Chelsea loses in the league cup to Sunderland, prompting the Special One to change Chelsea’s identity to a defensive one.
-Chelsea sells Kevin De Bruyne and Juan Mata to acquire the funds to reacquire Matic from Benfica, steal Willian from Tottenham and Salah from Liverpool.
-Mourinho still complains he has no strikers.
-With Manchester City running rough shot over the EPL, Chelsea walk into the Etihad and beat them 1-0. All the pundits hail it as a Mourinho masterclass.
-Jose calls Wenger a “specialist in failure”, then beats him 6-0.
-Chelsea, who were in the title hunt, lose to at Crystal Palace. Then a few days later lose 3-1 to PSG in the 1st leg of the Champions League Quarterfinal
-Chelsea miraculously make the Champions League Semifinal after Demba Ba’s late winner. Jose Mourinho sprints down the touchline like he did at Old Trafford 11 years earlier as Porto FC manager.
-Chelsea park the bus at Anfield and ruin Liverpool’s season.
Credit: NBC Live Extra Stream
-Chelsea try the same against Altleti at Stamford Bridge and lose. Courtois plays amazing against his parent club. Chelsea fans sing to Diego Costa “we’ll see you next year”. After the game Jose implies that Hazard is lazy.
-Chelsea signs Diego Costa, and Cesc Fabregas out of left field, after they sold David Luis to PSG for a mind boggling £50m.
-Mou makes it clear that Courtois will be in Chelsea’s squad this upcoming season.
-Frank Lampard leaves, Didier Drogba returns, and the team becomes a family under his presence.
-Courtois starts the first match of the season at Burnley. Diego Costa and Fabregas play electric football the first few months of the season, and everyone proclaims Chelsea as the clear favorites to win the league.
-Jose freezes Fernando Torres out of the squad and ships him off for nothing.
-Lampard scores against Chelsea for Man City.
-Jose starts a cold war with Spain over Diego Costa’s hamstring
-Jose Mourinho complains about a “Campaign against Chelsea”. Chelsea blow their 8 point lead over City on January 1st after losing 5-3 at White Hart Lane. Then Diego Costa gets banned 3 matches for stamping and Jose blames Sky Sports.
-by the end of January their lead is back up to 5 points and they never look back.
-Frank Lampard gets a mixed reception upon his return.
Credit: YouTube user Chelsea Football Club
-PSG and David Luiz get their revenge.
-Chelsea FC defeat Tottenham 2-0 to win the league cup.
– Loic Remy scores 2 huge winners against Hull and Stoke with Diego Costa injured.
-Chelsea’s fans applaud Juan Mata at Stamford Bridge. Arsenal’s fans boo Cesc Fabregas at the Emirates.
-Pat Bamford wins the Championship player of the year, and says he wants to play for Chelsea.
-Eden Hazard wins PFA player of the year. Fabregas and Dave are snubbed in the PFA team of the year.
-Chelsea’s youth team wins the UEFA cup and the FA Youth Cup.
-Mourinho reverts back to his old ways, and reaches 100 Clean sheets in the Premier League faster than any manager. Chelsea keep 4 clean sheets in 5 games to wrap up the title at the beginning of May 2015. On to this week’s picks:
Credit: CFC Unofficial https://www.flickr.com/photos/cfcunofficial/16324703959/
Everton v. Sunderland
Watford and Bournemouth have won promotion. Burnley and QPR are a certainty for relegation. The final demotion spot, currently held by Sunderland, is still up for grabs. The Black Cats get Toffee stuck in their paws this weekend
Pick: Everton (-120)
Newcastle v. West Brom
The Geordies’ crisis has reached biblical proportions. Only God can save them now and Pulis’ men will be arriving pitchforks in hand. It may may rain hell-fire and brimstone from that stands. If you’re the Baggies you’d almost feel embarrassed if you didn’t win.
Pick: West Bromwich draw no bet (+110)
Man City v. QPR
Yaya Toure’s agent has stated that there is a 90% percent chance that he leaves the Citizens this summer. Fortunately for QPR he’s likely out injured for this one, but unfortunately Kun Aguero is fit and in form.
Pick: Aguero scores + Man City wins (-175)
Arsenal v. Swansea
Not to kick team while they’re down, but when the pressure is off Arsenal shine.
Pick: Arsenal -1.5 goals (-110)
Happy hunting…
Last Matchday’s record: 3-2 (+0.8 units)
Overall: 48-44 (+13 units)
Next: Chelsea Target Nathaniel Clyne Happy At Southampton