Jose Mourinho Is World Football’s Scarface, And Other Friday Ramblings
By Zahir Gilani
![Credit: Flickr User Gled Rodrigues [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/]](https://images2.minutemediacdn.com/image/upload/c_fill,w_1080,ar_16:9,f_auto,q_auto,g_auto/shape%2Fcover%2Fsport%2Fc60af186771b6b33514185734e7213cc8c872dd654c729b6d71130c6cc62b7a9.jpg "Credit: Flickr User Gled Rodrigues [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/]")
Griezmann, Koke, Bale, Benteke, Pogba, Falcao, Varane, Ramos, Sterling, Coentrao, Callejon, John Stones, Clyne, Lacazette, Godin, Robert Green, Higuain, Miranda, Arda Turan, Begovic, Aranguiz, Isco, Gotze, Baba Rahman, Axel Witsel, Pedro, Alex Song, Charlie Austin…what do these players all share in common?
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They have all been rumored as a Chelsea target at some point this transfer window. Transfer rumors are stupid and we’re more stupid for taking any of them seriously. Now since John Stones is a legitimate one, let’s use him as a case study to examine a week in the life of a transfer rumor from the perspective of a fan – just a regular person such as you or I:
Monday: “I’m bored, let’s go to the web shall we? What’s this? Chelsea have bid for John Stones…hmmm.”
Tuesday: “Wow, according to this anonymous source, apparently John Stones wanted to come to Chelsea months ago. And Gary Cahill thinks he’s good. I want John Stones.”
Wednesday: “I want John Stones, I want John Stones, I want John Stones, who the hell does Roberto Martinez think he is standing in the way of my happiness? I want John Stones, I want John Stones…”
Thursday: “God, if you’re listening, please let Chelsea sign this player that I didn’t even care about 72 hours ago. He’s JT’s successor, the future of my team”
Friday: “C’mon Chelsea keep increasing your bids…What the? Manchester United are now going after him too? F@#! off Ed Woodward.”
Saturday: “Seriously…United? Those jerks are trying to buy the title. They have no sense of what things are worth, they’re paying Wayne Rooney £300k per week”.
Sunday: “Holy crap I haven’t showered in a week. Time for some sunlight and exercise. Computer off.”
Monday: “I’m bored, let’s go the web shall we? Chelsea have bid upped their bid for John Stones…so if I order my Stones jersey today it should get here by the start of the season.”
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THE WORLD IS YOURS
Jose Mourinho once said that “if they made a movie of my life, I think George Clooney should play me”.
Jose Mourinho is, to Chelsea FC fans, the Special One, the master of mind games, the man who will lead us to the promised land. We will follow him for better or worse and always trust his judgement regardless of outcome. He’s earned that, at least from me. But to a large proportion of football fans the Special One is an irritant, a big mouth, a hypocrite, a moaner, a whiner, a destroyer of the beautiful game who plays anti-football when it suits him, and even a checkbook manager.
So if I had to pick a famous movie character that symbolizes Jose Mourinho there could be no other choice than Tony Montana, Scarface; a larger than life personality who accepts nothing short of being the top dog.
Does that then make LVG Frank Lopez?
And though Mourinho may have entertained the possibility of being Manchester United manager he stayed loyal to you Stamford Bridge. He made what he could on the side but he never turned you Frank (Lampard).
And if you hate Jose Mourinho then you need people like him. You need people like him so you can point your fingers and say: “That’s the bad guy.” What does that make you, Arsene Wenger? Good?
When Mou shipped Juan Mata off to Manchester United I felt the same morose I did when Tony shot Manolo.
Pellegrini, if you don’t win any trophies this year, dress warm – by next season you’ll be coaching in Alaska.
Rafa Benitez (Casper Gomez) is now managing a club post Mourinho for the third time, although only once as his direct successor. Rafa’s wife said that “We’re tidying up Jose Mourinho’s messes”, albeit jokingly. I would agree with her if she changed the words ‘Tidying Up’ to ‘Not Winning’.
As you may have guessed, Mourinho did not see the humor – he buried those cockroaches. I’d like to put in a special request to UEFA. Please rig the draw so Chelsea and Real wind up in the same Champions League group.
And the Portuguese tactician will continue to sound off whenever he gets a chance. He’ll complain about the Diaz Brothers – the refs and media, about how much the other teams spend (even though historically he’s the biggest spender ever) and naturally, how much more he wins than everybody else.
And if we can take this analogy to it’s ultimate conclusion there will be a day when he crosses Sosa Abramovitch and…well we all know how that ends…
But ask the Special one and he’ll tell you, “I’m always right, even when I’m wrong”.
Check out all the other Friday Ramblings at the hub page here.
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