Nothing Is Sacred: The Jose Mourinho Ramble


Chelsea FC sacked Jose Mourinho. I’m not happy.

Here is a dramatic reenactment of me last Thursday when I heard that Jose Mourinho was no longer Chelsea’s manager:

In life one should always be able to laugh, but when I think of what has just happened to my football club I am now the sad clown; smiling on the exterior, but ripped to shreds on the inside. Chelsea’s 3-1 win on the weekend notwithstanding.

There was a Scorpion who needed a ride across the river and asked a Frog if he could jump on his back. The Frog said no. The Scorpion asked why. The Frog said because you’ll sting me. The Scorpion promised he wouldn’t because if he did they would both die. The Frog agreed with the logic, and the Scorpion jumped on his back. Halfway across the river the Scorpion stung the Frog and they both drowned. On the way down the Frog asked the Scorpion why? Why would you sting me? Why would you kill us both? He replied, “Because I’m a Scorpion”.

Some of you may see where I am going with this. /

Roman Abramovich is the Scorpion, Jose Mourinho the Frog.

Roman understood that getting rid of Mourinho would cause backlash and revolt from the fans. Still he is what he is, and he will do what he always has: fire managers. Is it cutting off his nose to spite his face? Roman had his chance at a dynasty and long term stability with a manager who would always galvanize the fan base and load his trophy cabinet. Why Roman – why would you kill us both?

And then again, Jose Mourinho is the Scorpion, Roman Abramovich the Frog.

We were ready to build statues for you Jose. You had the opportunity to be Alex Ferguson. You had the chance at your legacy. Why would you turn so many people against you? Why would you dismiss Eva Carneiro, ostracize Eden Hazard publically, and make enemies of the media and referees. Why would you destroy all the good that we were trying to create?

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Because he’s Jose Mourinho, and he’s Roman Abramovich. Like the Scorpion in the anecdote above, it’s their very nature. Nature always wins.

And some things cannot be undone. I’m reminded of the ending of the Godfather II when Fredo is shot on the boat, and they show Michael Corleone watching from the window. The finality and sadness that washes over him after the killing of his brother are the emotions that surround Chelsea Football Club today. What have we done, and how could it have come to this?

We all know what happens next. After ending the best marriage we have ever had, we will go from relationship to relationship trying to recreate what we built with that one Special person. But it will never come…

Jose Mourinho was Chelsea’s soulmate. He is imperfect, but was perfect for us.

Courtesy of Flickr user InMouWeTrust
Courtesy of Flickr user InMouWeTrust /

United fans are already rolling out a red carpet for him. Norwich fans were singing “Jose Mourinho is taking your job” to Louis Van Gaal on Saturday. A sick part of me now wants to see him at Old Trafford myself.

The prospect is a worrisome one. Van Gaal has been at United for 18 months. I may be delusional in saying this, but if Jose Mourinho becomes the Manchester United manager they will be the best team on the planet after 18 months. Better than Barcelona, better than Bayern Munich.

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Mourinho’s detractors call him a chequebook manager. Well Man United have the biggest one in the world.

Guus Hiddink and whoever follows after him as Blues boss will have one problem; all the transactions made over the last three seasons were made based on Mou’s 4-2-3-1 system. Suppose we bring in a new manager who utilizes wingers in wide areas, and plays an attacking brand of football. Wouldn’t it be useful for them to have at their disposal the likes of Mohamed Salah, Kevin de Bruyne, Juan Mata, Juan Cuadrado and even Andre Schurrle, all the players that were sold due to the fact that they weren’t “Mourinho type players”.

Will there be a new mandate to bring the academy players into our senior squad or will they just continue to be hoarded and shipped off all over Europe?

Next: Fresh Details Emerge Regarding Jose Mourinho’s Dismissal

As for the players who have been rumored to have engineered Mourinho’s sacking – namely Hazard, Diego Costa and Cesc Fabregas – let’s remember that from the outside we have no idea what really happened. That being said, in the court of public opinion facts rarely matter, and perception is reality. So Nemanja Matic, Branislav Ivanovic and the aforementioned trio all dogged it this season because they were exhausted and exacerbated from playing under the demands of an over competitive manager. Whether this is a fictional or honest account of what has transpired at Stamford Bridge, we will never know.

But the fans felt the need to punish the players just as the organization punished the manager.

“The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Now that you’ve heard my composed thoughts, let’s end with a passionate rant.