Our favourite Chelsea goal: Didier Drogba, Eden Hazard and more!

Andre Carlisle: Michael Essien v Arsenal, 2006

An attribute that almost always places a goal in consideration for any ‘top’ list is unpredictability. The scorer seeing something – an angle, an opening, a chance to show off something previously only executed on the training ground – spectators with better all-around views of the pitch (tv or live) can’t see. You’re watching a game of football then suddenly someone does something, the net ripples, and you need a clean pair of undies.

Michael Essien was brilliant at creating these moments. His compactness allowed him to fling his body into a strike and transfer all of his muscle and power into the ball. For this goal against Arsenal (bonus points), he added something extra: flawless technique. Every inch of this goal – from the way his boot connected to the kissing of the inside of the post – was intended.

Lampard laid off what was essentially a smorgasbord ball in that Essien could’ve chosen to do anything with it. Sometimes that much time to think forces a shying away from attempting the audacious. Essien, full of confidence and skill, rose mightily to the moment.

Cutting across the ball at the perfect moment and with the perfect body shape he sent it toward goal. The tightness of his follow-through sent the ball spinning at velocity. The ball looks to be going wide of the goal up until the moment it breaks at least two natural laws to get far enough inside the post to kiss it and dive into the net behind. The trajectory of this strike simply shouldn’t be possible according to physics as I understand them.

Not only can Michael Essien strike a football one thousand times better than me, he also understands the science of this world well enough to submit it.