Chelsea did a thing! Blues announce not-a-striker Antonio Rudiger

Chelsea announced the first transfer of the summer window between the age of 16 and 34. Antonio Rudiger will provide redundancy to the back-line while not distracting anyone from the real issues.

Let’s start with the good news. Chelsea confirmed a signing, which means their pens still work and they have not alienated every player in Europe. They also did a surprisingly good job with their announcement video. After the full-court Gorillaz press of the last week, many fans (but not supporters) feared the worst.

Now the rest of it. The signing is AS Roma’s defender Antonio Rudiger. Rudiger has been in the transfer rumour mill for some time. Then again, so was Romelu Lukaku. Tiemoue Bakayoko is, hopefully, still there and not on his way to somewhere else.

While Chelsea need to strengthen their defensive corps with true centre-backs, that is far from the top need. Chelsea could – if necessary – open the season and make it to January with last year’s trio, along with Andreas Christensen and Kurt Zouma.

However, to open their title defence and win their group in the Champions League with last year’s back-line Chelsea would need much more offensive firepower. Chelsea cannot do those things with Eden Hazard on the mend and no striker in sight. No matter how strong Chelsea’s defence is with Antonio Rudiger’s addition, it does not compensate for Chelsea’s reduced offensive abilities.

Under most circumstances, Chelsea announcing Rudiger would be a luke-warm event. In light of the past week, it is face-saving at best and vacuous at worst.

Antonio Conte is probably not much more mollified by this signing than the fans are (or should be). Chelsea have serious deficiencies in the squad and in their management hierarchy. Anyone in the club, pub or media pointing at Rudiger saying “See? See?? A signing!” would not withstand a moment under Conte’s withering glare.

Next: Eden Hazard's injury deepens Chelsea's transfer failings

Antonio Rudiger deserves a warm welcome to the club. He will create necessary competition among the centre-backs vying for the starting XI. But the club deserves no applause or relief of pressure for having made this signing.