Chelsea are back at Camp Nou where a win or a high-scoring draw puts them through to the Champions League quarterfinals. How confident are we of the Blues continuing their odd success at Barcelona?
Chelsea hope to leave Spain in a better place than Manchester United and Tottenham, that is, in the quarterfinals of the Champions League. Will they be able to repeat their triumph of 2012, with a similar eye for drama? Or can they go one better and win a game at Camp Nou for the first time in club history?
Barrett Rouen: Barcelona 2 – 2 Chelsea. Chelsea score first, everything is amazing and life is good. Then Andreas Christensen looks his age again and Barca score through Lionel Messi, now that his curse is broken. Then Messi scores again due to some ham-handedness from Thibaut Courtois. Willian saves the club. Chelsea win.
Abhishek Pancholi: 2 – 2. It’s deja vu, as Alvaro Morata silences the Barca boo-boys by tucking in a late leveller. Embroiled in an argument with the assistant referee in Barca’s half, he notices a long ball from Christensen hurtling towards him and, for once, he latches on to it and finishes the move.
Yet again, the Blues somehow squeak through on away goals against Barcelona, prompting Andres Iniesta to announce his retirement from football. Messi is caught on camera screaming “NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NO MAS” at the heavens as tears roll down his cheeks. The Chelsea squad, meanwhile, is dancing in front of the away end, unaffected by the sprinklers being turned on in a hurry. Good times.
Scott Brant: 1 – 1. Similar to the last match except reverse roles. Barcelona will go ahead early, with Chelsea equalizing late. The match goes to a shootout where Chelsea lose in dramatic fashion. Sadly, it will probably be the last time Antonio Conte manages Chelsea in Champions League.
Kevin Peacock: 0 – 3. Antonio Conte’s continual bleating about having to suffer turns out to be a massive bluff. Having lulled Barcelona into a false sense of security with the performance against City, Conte attacks them from the get-go. It’s the Spanish contingent who do the damage. Cesc Fabregas with the first, Marcos Alonso the second and Alvaro Morata with the third decisive goal.
The only downside comes when Morata, with 10 minutes left, having scored, removes his shirt runs around the back of the Barcelona goal circling the shirt above his head. He puts it back on, gets a yellow card and stupidly repeats the whole process and walks.
Hugo Amaya: 0 – 1. Antonio Conte knows his team needs to score, not just defend. Therefore, in the first half, the team will sit back and wait for an opportunity to counter. But, in the second half, Chelsea will overwhelm Barcelona and get the crucial goal. After running and screaming in celebration, Conte will make some questionable (but effective) changes to see the game through and move on to the next round.
Brendan McDonnell: 0 – 1. My confidence is definitely at an abnormal level considering the recent run of form. The way Chelsea pressed Barcelona in London was super effective and caused all kind of havoc. Valverde remembers this and prepares his team accordingly only to have Conte do the opposite and play more conservatively. A frustrated Barça makes a mistake, Willian steals a goal, and we get a legendary Courtois performance.
I can’t believe I’m typing this, but I think Chelsea win 1-0 at Camp Nou and advances to the next round.
Next: Chelsea can set themselves apart from league rivals with UCL win