Chelsea vs. Man United predictions: Sarrismo overcomes a parked bus

Chelsea welcome Manchester United to Stamford Bridge in a clash of managerial styles and tactics. Here are our predictions for the game and Jose Mourinho’s employment status.

There’s grudge matches, spite matches and frenemy games. Then there’s what ever this is. Sarrismo will go up against the greatest bus parker football has ever known, and Chelsea will hope Manchester United play more like an eighth-place team than a Jose Mourinho team.

Scott Brant: Chelsea 2 – 1 Manchester United. Chelsea must win this match. Not so much for the season, although it would help keep pace with Manchester City and Liverpool, but because it’s Jose “I told you so” Mourinho. He never misses a chance to point out that he was right or he is better. Plus, all the takes on social media from United fans if they won would be unbearable. I imagine one Eden Hazard will be very motivated to prove his worth against Mourinho, so a brace for him and a goal for Romelu Lukaku who always plays well versus the Blues.

Hugo Amaya: 2 – 0. Maurizio Sarri knows Mourinho is desperate for a win, which means the Reds will park the bus and play on the counter. However, Sarri will be prepared to deal with the likes of Lukaku, Marcus Rashford and Anthony Martial.

Chelsea will dominate most of the game, scoring one goal in each half. However, it will get rocky toward the last 10 minutes as United pile on the pressure. Nevertheless, the Blues get a massive three points. United feel shattered. Mourinho loses his job and Chelsea move on to the Europa League with a good win on their backs.

Sahil Gupta: 1 – 0. It will be a tense game as Mourinho will look to make a statement and show he still has it. However, Chelsea will play sensationally in the first half, scoring a goal. The second half will be close as Man United will look to pile on the pressure. Chelsea will miss a couple gilt-edged chances to kill the game off, but will cling on to the win.

Abhishek Pancholi: 4 – 0. Jose Mourinho’s teams are generally at their most dangerous with their backs against the wall. However, this particular iteration is mellow like a guy who’s high on Canada’s supply.

If Mourinho is banned from the touchline, his team may put up some sort of resistance as a reflex action and nothing more. It won’t be enough. Mourinho will try every forbidden spell from his big book of dark arts, such as deploying Ander “Hatchet” Herrera to target Eden Hazard’s shins or instructing Marouane Fellaini to elbow his way through the Chelsea midfield. But in the middle of the first half, Eden Hazard will leave David De Gea cursing at the players ahead of him and Phil Jones making one of those faces again. And then he’ll do it again in the second half. Alvaro Morata and Ross Barkley will pile on towards the end of the game, which will also spell the end of Jose Mourinho.

Barrett Rouen: 3 – 2. Manchester United are a broken and wounded animal. Chelsea are playing phenomenally and have all the spirit United lack. They’ll make a go of it because this is where Mourinho shines, but Chelsea are just better. David Luiz to be silly.

Kevin Peacock: 1 – 0. I was going to use the unstoppable force meeting an immovable object paradox to compare Maurizio Sarri meeting up with Jose Mourinho on Saturday lunchtime. However, Google says that’s not really a thing. Yonu know what I mean, though.

Expect United to play “chase ball” as Chelsea run rings around their midfield. The big question is… will there be an end product? At least in Eden Hazard Chelsea have someone on top of their game. The Belgian secures Chelsea’s win and Mourinho stays in his job.

Brendan McDonnell: 2 – 1. Remember those old matches when teams would complain about Chelsea parking the bus for 90 minutes and trying to bleed out a win? That’s what Man U is going to attempt.

Remember those old matches where a defeated Mourinho would complain about a team passing the ball endlessly for no purpose? That going to happen after the match.

I think Chelsea are the perfect kryptonite for this iteration of the Red Devils, and they cruise to an easy victory. I wanted to pick a clean sheet, but I’m still in awe of all the things Paul Pogba can do on the pitch. Eden Hazard, who we don’t appreciate enough, and Willian each net a goal and everyone awaits the banter.

Gabe Henderson: 3 – 1. This game will play out exactly how we all expect it to. Chelsea will dominate in possession while United park the bus. Sarri’s men will dominate with Hazard and Morata (x2) finding the net and continuing their strong form.

United will net a late goal from one of their substitutes, but will ultimately fail to make anything of this match.