Chelsea predictions at MOL Vidi: Introducing the expected apathy (xA) measure
Chelsea face 90 minutes staring into an existential abyss in the deadest of dead rubbers against MOL Vidi. They should still secure a comfortable win.
Phil Jones himself could not cost Chelsea anything more than embarrassment if he wore Blue for the day and played against MOL Vidi. Our worst-case scenario prediction is still a 2-0 win with goals from some youth players.
Scott Brant: MOL Vidi 0 – 2 Chelsea. This is the most confused I have been all season. After Eden Hazard’s false-nine success against Manchester City, now a match against Vidi that has no meaning leaves me with no idea what to expect. So I will predict what I want to happen rather than what I think will happen. Here’s to Callum Hudson-Odoi netting a brace and showing up everyone on the pitch.
Kevin Peacock: 0 – 2. This game means nothing to Chelsea and Maurizio Sarri. It does, however, mean something to Vidi. That alone is a recipe for defeat for the Blues. That said, Chelsea ought to win regardless of who starts.
We do know that some of the big guns will be missing and the manager has already indicated some of the “yoof” may feature. That will be bad news for the “boys from Dave” as the kids look to make an impact. Two players with hyphenated names score in a game for Chelsea for the first time with Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Callum Hudson-Odoi scoring the goals that secure the win.
Tan Yi Hao: 0 – 3. Dropping points here against MOL Vidi after the 2-0 win over City would be the most Chelsea thing ever. But still, regardless of whatever team Sarri decides to put out, a win would and should be the bare minimum for the Blues.
Nate Hofmann: 0 – 2. Ah, beautiful Szekesfehervar. Like the locals always say: come for the pointless football match, stay for the Bory Castle and the Hetedhet Toy Museum.
A team’s apathy towards a given match can often be estimated by the sum of the shirt numbers of their starting XI. Let’s call it he expected apathy (xA). A lower total suggests a more relevant match, and vice versa. Against Man City, Chelsea’s shirt total was 136 (an average squad number of 12.4). Against Vidi, the total could break 200 (average of 18.2). Using this very scientific analysis, we can now safely conclude absolutely nothing about the match. Callum Hudson-Odoi and Cesc Fabregas to score.
Abhishek Pancholi: 0 – 3. It’s a dead rubber and that should mean starts for Ethan Ampadu and Hudson-Odoi. Vidi need to win this to keep their hopes alive in the Europa League. Too bad. Sarri will personally hand out blankets and eye masks to many of his first team players while the stiffs take the field.
Nevertheless, barring an embarrassing collective collapse from the Blues, this should be an easy game. They’ll all be lining up to shoot and three of them will get their names on the scoresheet. Oh, alright, Pedro, Loftus-Cheek and Ross Barkley will be the goalscorers.
Next. Chelsea have little to play for but a lot to say against MOL Vidi. dark
That’s about it. I’ll leave you with the words of the poet laureate, Ariana Grande: “Thank u, next.”