Chelsea fans’ predictions for UCL final: Whoever wins, we all lose

MUNICH, GERMANY - MAY 19: Roberto Di Matteo interim manager of Chelsea lifts the trophy in celebration after their victory in the UEFA Champions League Final between FC Bayern Muenchen and Chelsea at the Fussball Arena München on May 19, 2012 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
MUNICH, GERMANY - MAY 19: Roberto Di Matteo interim manager of Chelsea lifts the trophy in celebration after their victory in the UEFA Champions League Final between FC Bayern Muenchen and Chelsea at the Fussball Arena München on May 19, 2012 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)

Sadly, someone has to win the Champions League final. Either Liverpool or Tottenham will pull alongside Chelsea as a 2018/19 European cup holder.

Talk about a devil’s deal. Either Chelsea will no longer be the only London team with a Champions League trophy, or the world will have to endure years upon years of Liverpool fans’ unique blend of whiny braggadocio, not to mention the collective orgasm of the in-the-bag media. If only we could truly be neutral.

Olaoluwa Nwobodo: Tottenham 2 – 1 Liverpool. It’s a matter of picking your poison. I like tacticians. Mauricio Pochettino is one. Spurs were by far the underdogs going into almost every tie since the knockout stages. They’ve fought like Chelsea and have reached the final, which is impressive on its own.

I do not like Spurs. At all. I want Pochettino to win the Champions League because he often gets overlooked for never winning a trophy. Liverpool claim they lost the Premier League because “City were just too good.” I’d love to see what excuse they come up with if they don’t win the Champions League.

Gabe Henderson: 2 – 3. Liverpool fans may be unbearable, but their club has European success to back up the trash talk. On the other hand, Tottenham doesn’t win trophies. It simply doesn’t happen – it’s what their known for.

This match is going to be insanely entertaining, but in the end, the lesser of two evils will prevail. I don’t see Jurgen Klopp losing back-to-back Champions League finals with this squad, all choking jokes aside. Liverpool is too good and too motivated to lose this match.

London stays blue by a wide margin.

Kevin Peacock: 1 – 2. To be honest, I don’t even want to think about this. I don’t think there has ever been a game of football that has interested me less. The only good thing about it is that one of them will surely lose.

However, the team I’d like to win is the team I personally like the least – no offence intended to any sensitive Pool supporters.

Spursy McSpurs Face must remain potless. We all know London is blue, we certainly don’t want it tinged with lily-white. Also, I quite like the City of Liverpool as a historic place to visit. However, this is not a travelogue. Serial European Cup winners Liverpool will get the job done.

Karan Saini: 1 – 2. In this case it is choosing the lesser of two evils. Liverpool and Tottenham both have not won trophies recently.

Spurs have been bottle-jobs all this time and I expect the same in the final. Liverpool need to do this for the sake of humanity.

Scott Brant: 1 – 17. Thats right, I have a hatred for Spurs so strong I would rather Liverpool win. Plus, as a Chelsea fan, I can’t live my life to the fullest knowing Spurs have the same number of Champions League trophies as Chelsea. So, purely out of more hatred for one than the other, I will be standing – not alone – with Liverpool fans for this one.

Hugo Amaya: 1 – 3. It would be great of both teams could lose. But since that’s not possible, I rather move on with my life knowing Spurs are still unable to win anything. Further, I want Chelsea to be the only London club with a European trophy. So, for as much fun as it sounds to have both teams disqualified at the kick off, I will go with Liverpool for this one.

Abhishek Pancholi: 1 – 1 (Tottenham win on penalties). Spurs win on penalties. I’d much rather prefer the ground to open up and swallow the whole stadium, but I used up my final wish on the departure of Marlboro Man.

I sat down and thought about the repercussions of both possible results in the long term. And so, a cagey game will be decided by a penalty shootout. Liverpool will finally know how AC Milan felt that day in Istanbul when Mohamed Salah steps up to take the last penalty and sends it flying into orbit.

Meanwhile, Spurs will feel things they’ve never felt before and, in that excitement, Mauricio Pochettino will announce his job at Spurs is done. Juventus will be left kicking themselves, having signed a contract with Maurizio Sarri just hours earlier. Liverpool and Jurgen Klopp will fail to recover from the disappointment of missing out on the title and the cup in the same season. A broken Klopp will quit the next day and fly away to the Himalayas for a year long sabbatical. In his absence, Liverpool will go back to being a top four hopeful instead of a title contender.

With Pochettino also gone, Daniel Levy will milk the Champions League win for all it’s worth by selling millions of DVDs but won’t invest a penny in the squad. Spurs will go back to being the third best club in London, their one year as top dogs setting them back by a decade.

Chelsea may lose the title of the only London club to win the Champions League, but they’ll be the only London club to win anything for the next 10 years.

Vikrant Rathore: 3 – 2. Appreciation for both teams. They have done a fantastic job to turn the odds in their favor. Both the coaches and individual players deserve this stage.

Obviously, one of them will lose but they deserve the utmost respect as they outclassed the teams like Barcelona, Real Madrid and Manchester City. They have forced all the teams to think about their management style in every aspect of football. Anyway, I will be watching this match as a football fan rather than thinking that something must happen to both of the clubs. Hail Football.

Nate Hofmann: 0 – 3. The real dream here is for a massive sinkhole to open up in the middle of the pitch, forcing the match to be abandoned. But barring that, it’s hard to pick against Liverpool. The number of advantages for Klopp’s lot are plentiful: better players all over the pitch, better system, better late-season form, better experience in Champions League finals.  Pochettino is a great manager who has just about maximized the potential of his squad, but this might be a bridge too far.

Both managers have big decisions to make regarding their starting strikers. It’s wild to think that the semi-final heroes for each team – Divock Origi for Liverpool and Lucas Moura for Spurs – could both be relegated to bench roles, but hey, Fernando Torres was only a late sub in the 2012 final after downing Barcelona in the semis, so who are we to judge?

It won’t be fun to watch either of these clubs celebrate their victory, but it could be worse…

We could be Arsenal.