5. Duracell (Abhishek Pancholi)
Chelsea is on the lookout for a new sponsor. Their relationship with Yokohama seems to have lost the initial spark and they need to recharge their batteries. What better brand to do that than Duracell?
It makes perfect sense in every way. N’Golo Kante was born to be a brand ambassador for Duracell. His tireless running makes it look like he is a battery powered superhuman, who runs marathons for fun. Duracell could make the best TV commercial of all time, pitting Chelsea players against the Duracell bunnies in a race. Kante would win by a mile, with Pedro coming a close second and Willian stopping midway through the race and returning to the starting line.
They could also do a commercial where Kante is beamed up into an alien spacecraft where they open him up to find a pack of Duracell batteries in his chest. The possibilities are endless! Chelsea and Duracell could be a match made in heaven. Make it happen, Marina Granovskaia.
6. Taco Bell (Kevin Peacock)
Chelsea’s next shirt sponsor should come in the form of the fine United States based eatery Taco Bell. Having already opened up a branch just down the road from Stamford Bridge, the Mexican fast food chain would be ideally placed and, having previously sponsored teams from the NBA, their innovative marketing strategies could pay handsome dividends.
With ‘The Bell’ emblazoned on the shirt’s front and the player’s name on the reverse, the sleeve could be adorned with the companies motto “Live Mas” while adding in “for Yer Da’s” out of respect for the match going supporters. The cultists and hipsters will not need to feel left out either, because all of Taco Bell’s restaurants have regista’s. Cash regista’s. The Fulham Road branch being ”my cash regista”.
Taco Bell is a fervent chaser of wacky promotional campaigns. Back in 2007, they offered up free tacos for the first player to steal a base in the World Series and whilst the Pride of London does not advocate theft they could perhaps do the same with Chelsea. A free taco for fans every time Jorginho makes an assist ought to be a financially negligible option for them.
Other areas that link the Blues and the Bell are Diego Costa’s surname being an anagram of tacos and why not make the penalty box, the big bell penalty box.
Last up has to be a change of walk-on music. Should the Stamford Bridge faithful ever tire of the Liquidator being the clubs anthem, a couple of Bells strategically placed on the back of the player’s shorts and bring on Clapton’s Bell Bottom Blues. It all fits perfectly. Bring on the Bell.
Who would you like to see as Chelsea’s shirt sponsor if Yokohama does not work out? Let us know in the comments and on Twitter!