Chelsea: Only London club to have a victors’ parade in September? Maybe

Because there wasn’t enough confusion and disorder at the national level, UEFA floated the idea of holding the Champions League final on August 29. Chelsea probably wouldn’t be there, which would be for the best.

Premier League clubs: “We want the season to finish by June 30.” English Football League clubs: “Can we cancel immediately so we don’t go bankrupt?” Bundesliga clubs: “We have a very well-considered and thoroughly-vetted plan for a return to training commencing May 1.” UEFA: “LERROOOOYYYYYYYYY JENKINNNNNSSS!”

The Champions League and Europa League finals are usually about two weeks after the end of the domestic seasons. If UEFA is doing anything more than sending up a trial balloon, the 2019/20 Champions of Europe and Champions of Europe, Jr., could be crowned around the same time Chelsea are easing into the 2020/21 Premier League season. Who knows? Perhaps Chelsea will not only become the only London club to win the Champions League twice, but will be the first to have an open-top bus parade in early September.

If this proposal is serious, UEFA is kicking all the cans down the road. Concluding the 2019/20 competitions in late August would throw the 2020/21 European tournaments into disarray.

Would their not be qualifying rounds? Would the group stages really start three weeks after the title game?

And what about the players’ overall schedule? If domestic seasons can wrap up by mid-summer, the teams in the Champions League and Europa League finals would either have to keep their players fit for two months without games, or they would play the finals in the state of partial fitness and loose tactics that normally mark late August matches. Not to mention the squads in the finals would be much different than those who earned their way into the Round of 16, as some of the players will be out of contract and with new teams by the final.

UEFA likely figures that by late August, the coronavirus situation will have been brought under enough control to permit the necessary international travel – even if the match is played behind closed doors – for a final. Their projection is likely based on the longest possible window in which the remaining teams’ countries, Turkey (Champions League final host) and Poland (Europa League final host) are unable to train, play and travel.

That explanation only highlights the absurdity of what UEFA is trying to do.

UEFA is probably doing the right thing in not trying to lead during this crisis. The domestic governing bodies are making enough of a mess of things, and only transnational governing bodies could make them worse.

For once, I don’t have a good suggestion to offer against UEFA’s, but like so many other things about the past two months, I’m confident enough in my assessment to say “That ain’t it, bro.”