Chelsea's horrendous form continues, although at least they finally scored a goal! On Monday afternoon, the Blues welcomed Nottingham Forest to Stamford Bridge for a rare Bank Holiday fixture. Given that this match came in between the two legs of Forest's Europa League semis, Vítor Pereira made eight chances to his XI, thereby presenting the hosts with a golden chance to claim victory.
However, this is certainly not how it panned out. Taiwo Awoniyi headed the visitors in front inside 100 seconds, Igor Jesus converted a penalty not long after, before Awoniyi added a third shortly after the interval. Chelsea had been given an opportunity to halve the deficit in first half injury time, but Cole Palmer's attempt was saved by Matz Sels, as was the subsequent rebound.
The few supporters who remained inside Stamford Bridge did witness a goal deep into added on time; João Pedro scoring a spectacular bicycle kick that was scant consolation. Also a shoo-in for the club's goal of the month. That was Chelsea's sixth successive Premier League defeat, failing to score across the previous five, their worst run since 1912. Thus, the last league goals they scored before this was at Villa Park all the way back on 4 March.
By our count, including periods of injury time, Chelsea played 633 minutes of Premier League football between João Pedro completing his hat-trick against Aston Villa and the Brazilian bagging Monday's consolation. So, what could fans have done instead of not watching their team score a goal in the same amount of time?
List of things that take around 10 hours and 33 minutes
- Watch the Lord of the Rings film trilogy (9hours & 18 minutes) + Toy Story (1 hour & 21 minutes) = 10 hours & 39 minutes.
- Watch the Shawshank Redemption (2h 22m), the Godfather (2h 55m), the Dark Knight (2 h 32m) + Avatar (2h 42m) = 10 hours & 31 minutes.
- Watch all 13 episodes of The Simpsons season 1 and 18 episodes of season 2 = 10 hours & 27 minutes.
- Watch seasons 1, 2 & 3 of Brooklyn 99 = 10 hours and 31 minutes.
- Walk from Stamford Bridge to Gatwick airport = 9 hours & 21 minutes.
- Cycle from Stamford Bridge to the Coventry Building Society Arena = 10 hours & 17 minutes.
- Drive from Stamford Bridge to Caledonian Stadium in Inverness = 10 hours & 17 minutes.
- Travel by train from Paris Gare du Nord to Rome Tiburtina = 10 hours & 16 minutes.
- Fly from London to Houston, Texas = 10 hours & 20 minutes.
- Fly from London to Běijīng, China = 10 hours & 5 minutes.
Put succinctly, it was a long period of time during which Chelsea were playing Premier League football without scoring. Between goals, one could have flown from London to Běijīng, or indeed Houston in the opposite direction, or cycled from Stamford Bridge to the Coventry Building Society Arena, where Frank Lampard has just guided the Sky Blues to Premier League promotion.
Alternatively, one could have watched almost the first two seasons of The Simpsons, or the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, as well as squeezing in Toy Story afterwards. Well, watching the Shawshank Redemption, the Dark Knight, the Godfather and Avatar may have been a better use of every Chelsea fans time.
So, what next for Calum McFarlane and his team? Well, in the Premier League, they visit Anfield on Saturday lunchtime, before hosting Tottenham and then finishing at Sunderland. There is also an FA Cup Final against Manchester City to come the weekend after next; not a good Bank Holiday Monday for either of those two.
Currently ninth in the Premier League table, below Bournemouth, Brentford and Brighton, the Blues may require victory at Wembley to salvage European qualification, and even that appears a long shot.
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